Gornian Syntax
Gornian Syntax, named for the late computer scientist Saul Gorn, is a rambling collection of jokes, puzzles, poetry, music, and various other pastimes and amusements. The book is almost systematically un-systematic! If strolling down one dusty, long-forgotten byway leads me to another unexpected path, then, more often than not, I take the unexpected path.
Among its contents are short dialogues poking fun at everything from philosophy to education. Here is one such dialogue, entitled A Student, Here in the School?!
A Student, Here in the School?!
Teacher. As you can see, my lesson plan clearly states a learning goal, success criteria, and agenda — all of which are standard-aligned and evidence-based.
Principal. That’s all very fine and a good start, but I’d really like to see a classroom that thinks. Have you tried the latest student-centered strategies? Maybe some nonpermanent vertical surfaces?
Teacher. I’ve experimented with open-ended, exploratory activities. But — and I know this sounds crazy — my students seem to do better when I actually teach them. For example, Marth—
Principal. Students? No, no, no, no. This is a school — we’re not interested in students. Students aren’t scientific. What does the data say? What do the experts say? Are your students experts? I know I wouldn’t consult them about much of anything. Just look at the way they’re educated!
Teacher. ...
Principal. Now don’t be discouraged! Remember: it’s about the journey. There is no destination. And if there is a destination, we can’t know what it is — and it will probably be disappointing once we get there. But we can’t get there! Haven’t you ever heard of Zeno? There is no getting from point A to point B!
Teacher. Then how did we get to point A?
Principal. You’re nowhere — and you’re nothing! There is no “where” and no “self.” The sooner you realize that, the happier you’ll be!
Teacher. Then exactly “who” would be happier?
Principal. I don’t have time to explain everything I don’t know! Anyway, here’s the latest book. This guy is a real thought leader — a real ace! I’d like you to read it and write an essay that looks exactly like this model essay about what you learned. In my opinion, this book fills a much-needed gap.